...respect is just the minimum...


employment woes

today was a shitty day.

the day begun badly because the snow was beginning to fall bringing with it the knowledge that the day would inevitably end with me at the GO Train parking lot sitting in a freezing car waiting for it to warm up a bit before venturing out to spend 20 or more minutes trying to clear the snow and scrape off the ice. yuck. i hate winter. and of course, my train was late.

so back to the fact that at 10:30 am this morning i sat at my desk and faced the realization that here i am at a job where my actions influence the lives of others and i have no fucking clue about what i'm doing. i take that back. i have an inkling but i feel so incompetent. education wise: i'm qualified if you take into consideration the fact that i have a B.A in psychology and my concentration was in rehabilitation BUT (and this is whispered quite softly) i skipped quite a few classes in my university days. so even though i can ramble on in a seemingly intelligent way about abnormal psychology and the impact of certain disabilities on one's ability to perform meaningful work and work place adaptations and ergonomics and blah blah blah, the question that should have been asked in the interview is can you apply all that you've learned in university to this job. but then, i said a lot of bullshit in that interview, so chances are that if i had been asked that question i probably would have answered with an overly confident yes. thinking about it now, i didn't really bullshit the interview. at the time, after reading the job description, i honestly did think i could do the job. in fact it sounded a bit too easy. at the same time, i thought i'd be given a neat intensive training program which would tell me everything i needed to know anyways. boy was i wrong.

so at 10:30 this morning after picking up the 14 new voice messages from my clients and getting dumped with all my mail; i took a break.

by 1:30 pm the day had not gotten much better. i had spent over 2 hours trying to find out from someone in the office the correct procedure for something. oddly enough no one seemed to know. i finally got an answer by 2 pm and at that point i had enough. so i took another break, this time for lunch and went shopping to try to cheer up.

bad move, since two of my favourite stores are having their regularly great post christmas sales. so, i spent money that i definitely should not have spent.

i really wish i could grab a flight to Trinidad in time for carnival. today was one of those days. eventually i gave up on trying to do any work and spent the rest of the day trying to find a cheap flight going to Trinidad for just a week. i need some fun and sun. even though today was that shitty, i think the winter blues contributes to my diminishing mood. i'm not quite sure how much longer i can tolerate winter. each year my tolerance seems to shrink. i become a recluse in the winter. leaving the house only when necessary: to go to work, to get foodor to obtain entertainment.

it can only get better, right?

rotating...Meshell Ndegeocello: Bitter
dreading...going to work tomorrow.

oh yeah, to the lurkers who read my ramblings..i'm always open to new music recommendations. so let me know what you're listening to.


Post a Comment

<< Home