.iam.piscessoul.

...respect is just the minimum...

3.14.2005

reflection eternal

after spending the weekend contemplating and once again coming to the realization that there are some changes that need to occur in my life, I began a new book today.

on friday night, i saw hitch. (side note: who would've thought our little fresh prince would have evolved into such a sex object). listening to the speech in which he basically calls out all women and puts us on blast for limiting ourselves and not being approachable was self revealing. i can admit, that is so me. i am standoffish, i have that 'black girl grill' when necessary and i sadly can admit, that there are many men who've approached who i have brushed off only to think later on, hmmm maybe i should have given him a chance. i could bring forth many excuses to explain why, but there is no excuse. yes, there are some rotten apples out there BUT i know that there are some golden apples and chances are i've brushed off a couple of them. change is needed.

by sunday, i had concluded that come april 1st, 2005, change would be implemented. no more junk food, limited drinking/smoking, join a gym, drink more water and just become more healthy overall. i've been saying this for a while now. procrastination: another area for change.

then, today i began reading angel kyodo williams' book, "being black". as i began the second chapter the following words jumped out at me: if there ever comes a time when you feel like you have to go someplace to find a better you and you're going any farther than the mirror, don't take another step. as long as you are looking toward anything but yourself, you'll always be headed in the wrong direction she goes on to say don't ever think that you have to figure out how to leave some parts of yourself behind or that you have to become a certain way first

sitting on the train, i reread those lines a couple of times. hit by their truthfulness. thinking about not only myself but family and friends, i sat wondering why it's so hard to acknowledge such a simple fact.

taken into context, i know that i still have lifestyle changes to make. but i need to look at me and accept me first. i know that once i do that everything else will come a whole lot easier.

i've had this book for over a year now. it's so ironic that today was the day that i actually began reading it. i'm a firm believer that everything that happens, happens for a reason. so let's see where this leads.

rotating...Big Pooh: Sleepers
anticipating...implementing change

1 Comments:

  • At Tue Mar 15, 08:22:00 PM EST, Blogger Brother OMi said…

    I like this post. I hear many people complain about how they look.

    The important thing is how do you feel about you. Love yourself first. cause if you don't, no one else can.

    but i got your back. if you need any advice let a brother know

     

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