say no to christmas.

this year i'm just saying no.
my mother and i discussed it and we agreed.
we aren't really celebrating christmas this year.
please take note of the words 'aren't really'.
what this means is, we aren't going to go through the hustle and bustle of decorating the house, putting up a tree, putting up lights outside the house. we will however, do the things that actually hold meaning to us. such as family breakfast on christmas morning; going to church on christmas eve; black cake, pastelles, punch-a-crème and rum punch (of course!). things like that. christmas really is about family and children. sometimes i think children (in their innocence) are the ones who get the most joy out of christmas. that being said...we will buy presents for the children in our immediate family under the age of 13 (all those above that age have already been hit with the harsh reality that there is no Santa Claus).

unfortunately, i work across the street from one of toronto's major shopping malls. this means, i am in there on a daily basis. i feel like such a scrooge as i screw up my face each time i enter a store and am hit with christmas carols and a barrage of christmas decorations.

in the last few weeks, the only time that i've smiled while thinking about christmas was last week. i was babysitting my cousin's children (all of whom are under the age of 6...yes, it was a LONG day spent with 3 children under age 6). the middle was at the window looking at the remnants of the light snow fall we had while the youngest sat on the couch looking at her. i listened to her ramble on to him about christmas and did he realize that this meant that santa was on his way and that it's a long journey from the north pole by sleigh so perhaps he was already on 'the road'. cute. too cute. i did however, need a long nap after babysitting and listening to her speak about santa and christmas all damn day.

i am not a grinch!

i just think that the meaning behind christmas has become muddled.
but that's another post.

rotating...the notorious b.i.g - ready to die
absorbing...zadie smith - the autograph man

when it rains it pours....

sometimes.
you sit around wondering why you don't have enough of something.
then.
when the forces choose to provide you with that 'something'.
there is sometimes an overflowing.
where you're given more than you truly need.

perhaps it's a test.

rotating..beady belle - airing

ni-'glekt

Main Entry: ne·glect
Pronunciation: ni-'glekt
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Latin neglectus, past participle of neglegere, neclegere, from nec- not (akin to ne- not) + legere to gather -- more at NO, LEGEND
1 : to give little attention or respect to : DISREGARD
2 : to leave undone or unattended to especially through carelessness
- ne·glect·er noun

i've been neglecting the blogosphere of late.
i still do a weekly browse of blogs i enjoy reading...but i most definitely have been neglectful in providing regular updates to my own blog.

what can i say.
life is good. it's been a whirlwind of late. but definitely good.
so where do i even begin with this update?

i've finally patched things up with the best friend after close to a year of not speaking. we had a wonderfully long conversation and opened up to each other in ways that we hadn't in the past. it's still a little awkward (atleast on my part) getting back to speaking on the regular. as i explained to him, we've each missed an important year in each other's lives and it's difficult to try to change that. things may not ever be the same...but hopefully, our communication and friendship will be that much better.

work continues to stress me the f^@k out. zero overtime paid. yet, i sometimes find myself at the office until 8pm. but i'm focused. the master's program is still a consideration and my supervisor and another senior coworker have provided me with excellent feedback to let me know that despite still being quite new to the field, i'm already showing the potential for advancement. i've made my career goals rather clear (in fact, i was very clear about where i want to go in my very first interview as well). so let's hope that everything falls into place over the next year.















even though i won tickets to the BootCamp concert this past week (thanks of course to the good folks over at REMG) i didn't go to the show. instead i gave my tickets to my friend who was celebrating his birthday last week. Damn...i'm such a good friend....lol [that's a picture of sean price performing at the concert]

a huge percentage of my online time of late is devoted to my downloads. thanks to my trusty external hard drive and my new homie 'Podwan'...i've been enjoying downloading that much more these days. aside from the Roy Ayers - Mahogany Vibe compilation, i've also been listening to the latest Esthero offering, the GZA & Muggs collaboration, and the Wu Tang meets Indie Culture disc. i have a friend who keeps raving that this has been a good year for hip hop. i'm kind of lukewarm where that's concerned. but then, i'm an internet hiphop lover so i doubt i'm the best judge of whether that statement is true or not.

moving on....

the 'mister' i mentioned a few posts back is still in the picture. big surprise because i have a tendency to lose interest rather quickly. but dude is holding my interest by keeping things sporadic. he's around but not too often for me to get tired of seeing him [yet..]. in fact, it works to his advantage because every few days it dawns on me (or him) that we haven't spoken and there's a mutual need to initiate contact. i still receive negative feedback from the few friends who know about him; not just because of the age difference but because of other factors that i don't feel like getting into right now. as i've said to each of them..for right now, i'm just going with the flow. i'll cross each road block as i get to it.

and lastly...
the countdown to trinidad carnival 2006 is about to begin. as long as i can find a plane ticket under $850CDN [fingers crossed] i will be there. as it stands, i'm on a waiting list for a ticket at $775CDN but most prices i've seen have been in the $899CDN and up range. maybe i'll find a 'sponsor' some loving aunt or uncle in trinidad who hasn't seen me in years and would do anything to see me enjoy a carnival. lol. for 2006 i need to play mas. and i'm not using the word 'need' out of context. it is a necessity. i must be on the road come Carnival Tuesday in an all inclusive section in some band.

winter is coming and lawd when i say i'm not ready. i have maintenance that needs to be done on my car...the brakes are squeaking...new tires are needed...and some jackass tried to steal my antenna at the train station.

i really can't complain though. the weather to date has been bearable. more than bearable actually. it's november and i haven't felt the need to take out my winter coat [yet]. i'm keeping the fingers on my other hand crossed that we have a mild winter. in fact..it can snow for the two weeks i'm in Trinidad for carnival.