..then i jetted in the jet...

so it's 11:45pm and in less than 10 hours i will be boarding a bwia flight to sweet trinidad.

the problem?

it's 11:45pm and i'm no where close to being finished packing. my first suitcase has two pairs of jeans in it at the moment and i have about 2-3 loads of laundry (of clothes that need to come with me) that still need to be done.

so why am i on the computer?

i'm a junkie dammit! Ha!

i'm stressed..i still have a full day of work ahead of me tomorrow. my department will be moving while I'm gone, so i need to pack my desk. plus, i have a pile of shit on my desk, all of which needs to be addressed before i exit the office tomorrow at 4:30pm. i have an appointment with pain at 5pm. then must rush home, finish packing and get to the airport by 7pm. (impossible you say?)

the rushing is all worth it. i can't wait for that moment as the wheels of the plane touch down on the runway and everyone on the plane starts clapping (do they only do that on flights into the west indies? because every flight i've been on to trinidad has ended with applause) and i step out of the airport and get my first whiff of that air.

madlib invasion...

so as i mentioned amidst my broken bracelet drama..madlib was in town last week. although my pockets would not allow me to attend the actual show, i made sure to make my way over to the instore signing at hmv which happens to be about a block from where i work.

i was disappointed that there wasn't more of a turnout. i walked in expecting to see a long line up. instead i was met with a handful of people lurking around the store waiting for madlib to make his appearance. the handful grew into a small crowd by the time madlib took the stage at about 5:30ish. when he did take the stage, he blessed us with snippets from unreleased beats for about an hour. i was struck by how humble and shy he appeared to be. (although looks can be deceiving). he didn't talk much but instead did what he does best and then took the time to sign cds and other paraphernalia. i was not disappointed.

big shout out to rosie who was nice enough to send me copies of her pictures since i had forgotten my camera at home.



so, in less than 5 days i will be on a plane headed to trinidad. i'm anticipating the comments from my granny who will without a doubt tell me how skinny and pale i am; she will then proceed to try to fatten me up by feeding me full meals for breakfast, lunch, dinner and of course all the snacks in between. yeahhhhh...i can't wait. i intend to look at granny with does eyes and ask her to please help a poor starving granddaughter.

rotating...Nicolay - The Dutch Masters Vol. 1
anticipating...good ole' home cooking..the way granny does it...

and my heart stopped...

i never knew my father's sister. rather, i have no recollection of her. supposedly we look very much alike in complexion, height, features, texture of hair, etc... she died of cancer when i was very young and lived with us up to the time of her death. she and my father were very close and supposedly i was also quite attached to her as a baby.

on my 9th or 10th birthday, my mother gave me a pair of gold bracelets that my aunt had bought for me when i was born. they had been too big for me as a baby and so, i had never been able to wear them. from that age on, i wore my gold bracelet proudly. a symbol of my connection to the aunt i remembered in my heart. somewhere along the way, my mother began wearing one half of the pair, while i kept the other half. though i never thought much about it, the fact that we both wore these bracelets that were one of few connections to my aunt meant a lot to me. further, it connected us as mother and daughter.

i grew and the bracelet remained on my wrist. when i entered high school, my phys.ed teacher threw a fit one day as we were not supposed to wear jewelry. i had tried out for the basketball team and had been informed that once on the team i would have to remove my bracelet for games. i went back into the locker room and made the attempt to remove my precious bracelet. it snapped in half and i was devastated. that weekend, my mother took me to a jeweler who was able to fix it and i happily placed it back on my wrist. the decision was made, my bracelet would never leave my wrist again. no basketball team for me, and as for phys.ed class...i opted to wear long sleeved shirts to hide the fact that i still wore my bracelet.

fast forward to the year 2005. present day.

aside from that one incident in high school, this bracelet has not left my wrist in over 16 years. all the jewelry i wear on a regular basis is silver or white gold except for my bracelet - a constant on my right hand.

then last night, while out at a restaurant with friends. my bracelet got caught on something and snapped in half again. it separated into two halves and rolled into hiding.

let me tell y'all i almost shut that restaurant down. i made all activity stop and had everyone up in there searching for my bracelet. i found one half and the waiter insisted that they would look for the other half at the end of the night. but i was not having that. it took almost an hour, but i finally located the other half hiding behind a plant.

relief.

but i woke up this morning feeling naked. my right wrist felt lighter than usual.
i've fingered the broken pieces hourly, just to ensure that they are all there. as i mentioned, before last night the importance of that bracelet had never really weighed on me. that time in high school that it broke was not even close to the panic i felt last night when i was presented with the possibility that i might not have been able to find all the pieces. at first the friends i was dining with were thinking i was searching for it because of it's monetary value (since it is gold) but when i finally found it and sat back down holding both pieces with relief and i explained the history..they seemed to understand.

i had spent the week formulating the events that i had to blog about. attending the madlib instore appearance. the stress i'm dealing with at work. my dissatisfaction with work. my drunken partying last weekend and the adventure of my drive home. gay pride weekend in toronto. missing out on soul kitchen last night because i was searching for my bracelet. the fact that krs one is an amazing speaker. how dope that lauryn hill mixtape really is. my relationship with my former best friend (or lack of). the fact that karla homolka is about to released from prison and i'm convinced that someone will try to assassinate her. and lastly my upcoming trip to trinidad to attend a family reunion.

but this was definitely more important.