change.

Pisces Daily Horoscope
-----------------------------------------
by Astrocenter.com

The attitudes of others towards you, particularly close friends, may seem to be changing, and you aren't likely to be sure about what this means. The fact is, dear Pisces, you are changing, and some of your friends may like what you're becoming, and others might feel less comfortable. You can't stop what's happening - and in the long run it's going to be a very positive process. It just may be difficult now. Bear with both your friends and yourself.

searching.

Last night was mother daughter night. Moms and I saw 'Adventures of a Black Girl in Search of God'. We both left the theatre raving about how much we enjoyed the performance and were particularly impressed by the actress - Karen Robinson - who portrayed Rainey Johnson. I completely related with her doubts and questions. It's odd, because like her I was 'raised in the church'. My mother has always been a very active member of her church and I know that it saddens her that I have seemingly given up on attending with her on a regular basis. I've tried time and time again to explain to her the reason for my displeasure/distaste with some of the activities that I've experienced in her church, as well as the dislike I have for the ongoing gossip and controversy that I have observed there.

But, I'm off topic...Let me first tell you a bit about the play (in case you have not yet seen it). The story revolves around a character by the name of Rainey Johnson who is from a Black township in Ontario (Canada) called Negro Creek. She is mourning the death of her daughter, the death of a mother figure and is trying to sort out her relationship with God. Throughout the play her faith is questioned and she ponders the basis of her beliefs.

Now, I should tell you that I was raised as an Anglican but attended Catholic elementary and secondary schools. Although I may have taken it for granted at the time, I definitely value the education that I received in religion during my elementary and secondary education. I particularly value the encouragement of one religion teacher who urged all of his students not to simply accept any and everything as truth. Because of him, I have always asked questions and believe that questioning better enables me to justify and strengthen my beliefs. (However, I know that not every question may result in a definite answer). Anyways, based on the guidance bestowed on me by this religion teacher, I was brave enough to question one of my Sunday school teachers in church one day. (Note: This was probably while I was in the 9th or 10th grade). She had asked the class to rate our belief in all events in the Bible on a scale of 1 to 10. She went around the circle with every rating in the range of 9 or 10. However, when she got to me, my response was 7. She then proceeded to ask me to provide a reason for why I had chosen 7; of course I explained to her that there were many occurrence in the Bible that I had questions about and also had recently been learning about the theory of evolution which did not seem to follow with the proposed creation story outlined in the Bible. Not once during my response did I say that I did not believe; my only statement had been that I had unanswered questions. Yet, instead of attempting to provide me with a valid response or justification, this Sunday school teacher chastised me for even questioning any event that I had read about.

This is turning into a much longer explanation that I had planned. To cut it short, from that day forward I distanced myself from the formal act of simply going to church. That days events and other events that came afterwards left me wondering whether these so-called church going Christians were really at church for the right reason. It seemed to be a charade where they sat in pews rocking and praising one moment and then as soon as they stepped out the door, they were whispering, gossiping and criticizing. However, unlike Rainey, I've simply realized that I don't need to be in a specific building to maintain a relationship with a higher Being and I don't need to broadcast to the entire world that I continue to try to build a relationship with that Being. But I am still searching....whether it's for God or for my Self, I really don't know.

...rotating... Red Star Sounds Vol.1: Soul Searching
...anticipating... contentment

bubblegum.

I found this article so amusing I had to come back and post it.

So, apparently Singapore had adjusted their law banning bubble gum to allow people to chew it as long as they are chewing gum with a Doctor's prescription. Don't believe me?? Read about it yourself.

snow.

Make it stop!
I'm tired of the snow. My winter blues are about to go into over drive.

:quick notes:
- I met someone interesting. Too bad he doesn't realize that he was dating one of my best friends a few years back and that makes him off limits.
- 2 more weeks of night school!! Hurray!!
- Moms told me that since I'm done school in a few weeks, we need to sit down and have a talk. Uh Oh!! It's ok. I'll tell her about my 5 year plan.

...rotating.... right now I'm at work. Listening to some oldies...Annie Lennox
...anticipating.... An end to this snow!!!

Yay!

This made me smile.....

www.stonesthrow.com
WED APR 7, TORONTO @ Revival, 783 College St.
Artists: MF DOOM, Madlib & J-Rocc as Jaylib, Peanut Butter Wolf, Egon
Doors open at 9pm, show at 10pm. 19+
Tickets: $15 advance at Play De Record, Vice, Rotate This, Kops,
Soundscapes

Finally something to look forward to!!!

Once again, I can't believe how fickle Canadian weather is. Last Friday was about 15 degrees celsius. Yet, earlier this week it snowed...Then today it rains. Would spring hurry up and get here!!!!!!!

...rotating....Ivana Santilli: If Ever I Fall
...anticipating....April 7

reality bites.

Sunday, March 7, 2004
Pisces Daily Horoscope by Astrocenter.com
Recent events in the department of love and romance may have you feeling as if you are simply not getting your needs met, dear Pisces. Remember that other people aren't mind readers the way you are. If someone's behavior isn't sitting right with you, tell them so. Romantic partnerships shouldn't be something that you make personal sacrifices for in order to maintain. They should be something that uplifts and supports your dreams.

Even though I have a tendency to read my horoscope daily (however, never at any set time of the day), I find them to be questionable. From my experience: if you read your horoscope at the beginning of the day, one goes through the entire day relating events that could possibly occur to the predictions outlined in the horoscope. If you read your horoscope at the end of the day, (regardless of how shitty it was), you find a way to relate everything that has happened to the predictions of the horoscope.

Irregardless, I guess I find some sort of strange comfort in regularly reading my horoscope. I can't describe it. I don't necessarily believe everything that is written/predicted. Perhaps, in some way it fictionalizes (is that a word??) my life, making it seem semi interesting.

So, I went out last night and had a horrible time because when I got there I started to feel ill. Too make matters worse, at the end of the night (read: 4 in the morning), the line up to get my coat at coat check was outrageously long. A police officer yelled at me to leave; so I yelled back that I was going a f^%&'n place without my jacket. Dude at the coatcheck lost my jacket stub and I didn't end up getting my jacket till about 5:30 am (yup, that's right an hour and a half after I had given him my stub).

I don't mind getting home at 6 in the morning if the night was enjoyable. But when it's a shitty night, and you've spent the majority of the night wishing you were already at home...getting home at 6 in the morning just means that you'll be grumpy the next day.

...rotating.... John Legend
...anticipating....Rest

cheaters.

I confess.
I cheated.
On my plane ride back to Toronto from Trinidad (which happened to be on Ash Wednesday), I decided that for Lent I would give up meat and eat only seafood for the duration of Lent. I was doing fine, considering I'm not that big of a meat eater to begin with. On the plane, I had the salad and at the veggies and rice. I opted for the filet of fish at McDonald's (which isn't unusual since I can't remember the last time I've had a BigMac or Quarter Pounder). I had seafood pasta when I went out for dinner on the weekend. And even convinced my carnivore friend to cook seafood instead of chicken for my birthday dinner. But then...yesterday....it happened. I didn't make my lunch and had to resort to leaving work and driving around to look for something edible. I drove past McDonald's, kept on driving past Burger King, sped past Ho Lee Chow and then before I knew it, I was at Swiss Chalet ordering a creamy chicken soup. Yeah, I know...big deal...chicken soup. But the point is, I felt soooo guilty even after I savoured the soup that I called my mom to confess. (I should have mentioned that we were both doing the 'no meat in Lent' thang). Her response....'Ohh, don't worry about it...I forgot and cheated on that long time ago' [insert trini accent].

So, knowing that I lasted longer than my mother...I don't feel as guilty.

:side notes:
I won a free muffin in the Tim Horton's Roll up the Rim to Win contest.

I have a presentation on Monday that I haven't started yet. It's supposed to be an hour long presentation and the library that has all the info I need is closed on weekends. I'm screwed.

I was on time to work yesterday!!! Yay me!! In fact I was 15 minutes early. My supervisor thinks I have sun stroke from Trinidad.

I need new music. I'm looking for more joints from E-3. Any other suggestions??

I'm horrible at returning phone calls. I need to figure out how long is too long to just say f*ck it and not bother calling someone back??

However, I hate it when I make the effort to call someone and they don't call me back.

My household finally sucked it up and made the switch from dial up to cable. Guess What?!?! That ish was installed last Tuesday and my email still isn't working!! Note to self: commence hate mail to Rogers Wireless. Not having access to my email is frustrating as hell, especially when it has become my primary means of communication.

Finally, I may get shot by every Black person for saying this. But I am not feeling Ruben Studdard's song 'Sorry 2004'. Quite honestly, I think the song is wack and is pretty damn annoying.

...rotating....Ellis Hall III aka E-3
...anticipating....Graduation

ramblings.

Yeah!!! The weather is getting better. I'm so happy. I love spring, fall and summer. I wish I could find a country that only has these three seasons. Any suggestions??

How come HMV still doesn't have the new Amel Larrieux cd? Every time I go in there the staff looks at me like I have three heads. Why?? Because I always come in looking for a specific cd that 9 times out of 10 they've never heard of. The dude thinks I'm a bit of a fanatic because I call and come in person and because I was able to spell Meshell Ndegeocello for him. [I see nothing weird about any of this by the way].

And why are they more than willing to order it for me on the condition that I pay $30 plus tax for it up front. Now, I've paid more than $30 for a cd on numerous occasions. But!! Hmv.com has the cd listed for $19.99....so why the (&(^% is it so much more to order it in store???

So umm, I am now 25 years young. [But, I tell everyone I'm 21]. I don't think I look or act 25. But then, how does someone who's 25 act?? Or look?? Who knows, maybe I should move out and start doing grown up things [what are those??]. Moving out is definitely in the plans though. [give me 5 years...lol].

I'm at work right now and since my boss has been away, I've changed the radio station...rearranged our desks...and overall, developed some horrible work habits [such as posting in my blog during the workday] that I need to discard before she returns in a week.

What else....

This week is Canadian Music Week. I checked the schedule and found nothing of interest. Except maybe for the Graph Nobel show. But I think that it's tonite and I have to work till 10 pm at my part time job.

Speaking of my part time job. I really need to concentrate on improving my attendance and punctuality now that I'm back from vacation. I've been on time so far but I already called in sick once since I've been back. I got to work on getting up on time on Saturdays so that I'm at my desk and ready to go by 8 am.

I need to go shopping and get some spring/summer clothes. The One of a Kind show is coming up at the end of March and the Clothing Show is coming up in May. I've noticed that the trend right now is vintage looking clothing that stores like Urban Outfitters sell at ridiculously high prices. I'm planning on buying my ass a sewing machine to make my own shit. I've already made a really cute belt that everyone goes goo-goo over and I've modified some of my parents old clothes to become my own creations. So my next step is to teach myself to sew. Who knows, maybe I'll even sell some stuff and ridiculous prices just like Urban Outfitters. [hahaha...yeah right!!]

I just realized that I still haven't received my Kobayashi cd. I think it's time to start harassing these people to make sure I get my cd.

rotating....MadLib: Stevie
anticipating....SPRING!!! and SHOPPING!!!

(re)birth

Daily Extended Horoscope
March 02, 2004
Birth Date........... March 2, 1979
Birth Location..... North York, Canada
Sun Sign............ Pisces

There's a joyful method to your madness. Anyone who's on your wavelength will pick it up right away. Pleasure seekers find each other, joining forces to make noise and raise dust. As long as you're happy, you're ripe for the perfect adventure. Stay active and you'll be creative. One is impossible without the other. Discovery and delight are as natural as breathing, as basic and profound as taking a walk on a lovely day. Grow and celebrate among the people that you adore. Anything that you do is fine with them, partly because you're so uniquely different from all others.

It's too early in the day for me to really reflect on what this day has held so far. So I'll be back tonight (or maybe tomorrow) to give a full report.

Until then.....Happy Birthday to Me!!!