happy new year!

what a christmas!
in fact...what a year!!
I look back and am in awe of how much has happened this year.
Graduating.
New responsibilities.
Partying it up in Trinidad for Carnival.
Going through 5 different jobs this year.
Finally landing a permanent place of employment.
And so much more.
This was an awful year for some people I know.
But it marked the beginning of so much more for me.
2005 (shyt we didn't even think we'd make it past 1999, ha!)

2005. I'm ringing it in, in a cost effective way.
I did not spend money on a new dress for tonight.
I did not spend money on overpriced tickets for a party.
I will not be spending money for gas, parking or a cab.
Cost Effective.
I will be at my peoples home for a house party.
The only thing I spent money on was two bottles of liquor.
Total cost = $30

Happy New Year!!
Let the games begin.

help wanted.

I'm placing an advertisement in the local paper.
I'm recruiting.

Help Wanted.
Need willing, patient, nimble fingered individual to assist with removal of braids.
(hair extensions for any non-black/urban readers). Compensation will be provided by way of my being forever grateful for you taking pity on me; and if that's not enough you can partake in my family Christmas dinner.

It's 3:17 am and I've been trying to take these braids out since last night. I'll admit, last night (amidst my laziness) I only took out 6 (maybe 7). Tonight, I started at about 10 pm; and I still have a looooong way to go. Every time I sit by myself taking out my braids, I vow to never ever put them back in again because I hate the removal process. But somehow, months later, I always find myself making the call to my 'braid lady'.

sigh

At this rate, I will not be making it into work tomorrow morning. My story will be car troubles. I can't exactly say: 'I'm sorry but I can't make it in because I was up all night removing my fake hair'

If it means me staying up all night into tomorrow evening to get these suckers out, that's what I'll be doing. Because walking around on Christmas Day and going to church on Christmas Eve with half braids and half afro just WON'T be cute.

Wish me luck!

oh yeah. Did I mention I hate winter? And snow? And ice? And freezing rain? I think I also need to place another advertisement for someone to shovel my driveway, scrape the ice off my car and warm the car up for me every morning. Compensation will be as mentioned above.

reflection

Pisces Daily Horoscope
by Astrology.com

You're known for accommodating others, usually at your own expense. If you're tempted to act without any thoughts for your own happiness, keep in mind that someone could be trying to take advantage of you. Be tough!

the process of elimination

"Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however unlikely, is the truth" Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

science was never my favourite subject. but one of the things i remember vaguely is that in a process of elimination, you eliminate all incorrect diagnoses until only one correct one is left. that being said, i'm getting rid of the dead weight in my life. mathematically speaking, i'm simplifying the equation. i've made this promise/resolution to myself on many occasions. each year, it's on my list of resolutions (the one i never seem to hold true to). but the end of the year is fast approaching and i've seriously been evaluation the necessity of some of the people in my life and i'm finding that some of them cause me more stress than i need. let me rephrase, some of them bring more negativity to my life than positivity. and i really don't need that.

so, no longer will i tolerate bullshit. i've always had a low tolerance for any kind of shit anyways. i think i've mentioned before that i don't believe in 'sorries'. i am, however, tolerant enough to allow second chances (and if i'm in a good mood, a third but rarely a fourth). so once you're on your third strike...you're definitely out.

so here's the scenario, my best friend is probably on like his 5th strike and i just caught a fly ball. it's over.

it's sad, but i feel like i've become hardened. my mom raised me to be tolerant, to do for others what you'd like them to do for you and to give unquestionably. so being a suspicious, selfish, hardened person just isn't in my nature. but it's slowly creeping in. i'm tired of being the one to continuously give (mentally, physically, monetarily) and receive nothing in return. i'm tired of feeling manipulated and used and raped. i'm tired of knowing that you have it in you to give but receiving nothing in return. and i'm tired of hearing/seeing the shit you do for others and listening to you talk about what you 'have' but never seeing any of that reflected in our so called friendship. it's over.

venting is great.
i'll admit, it's not over. we have too much history and too much love. but i've realized that i don't have to eliminate people. i will however eliminate the type of bullshit that was getting thrown at me. i will speak up and let it be known what i will and will not tolerate. so in a sense, it's just begun.


reading...Amy Tan: The Hundred Secret Senses
rotating...K-Os: Joyful Rebellion

nas.is.like

i'm not as big a nas fan as i used to be way back when.
i'm one of those fans who lost interest after he started thinking he was nastradamus and hasn't jumped back on the band wagon as yet. the latest double disc has been sitting on top of my cd player (still wrapped) for about 2 weeks now. while i was very pleased to be getting to go the concert for free, i was a bit apprehensive as i was thinking - all ages show therefore he won't do any of his old school classics.

i'm pleased to admit i was wrong. I reminisced with it ain't hard to tell, life's a bitch, one love and the world is yours. and went back to the bbq as he took us back to his days with Main Source.

then he lost me. les queued him and he decided to drop nastradamus and hate me now and (uggghhh...) oochie wally. that was my hint to make a trip to the bar and mingle.


the show was okay overall. the line up was ridiculously long, i heard stories about people (with tickets) who were in line for up to an hour and a half. ridiculous. the show was way too short in my opinion but i'm glad that even more time was not wasted with irrelevant opening acts. the show was all about nas.

it's been a hectic weekend. i went out friday night and then to the concert last night, dropped my cousin home and went out again. my old butt is TIRED, that's a lot of activity for lazy old me in one weekend. so i've taken the opportunity to rest today (read: do nothing except laze around the house).

rotating...mos def: i've had "ghetto rock" on repeat since i got the cd!

the hook up

It always irks me when my bro comes at me after the fact to mention:
"you wanted to go to that show?..oh, I had tickets. I didn't know you were interested"
or
"i had meant to tell you about this sale I worked at last week, they gave me $1000 worth of free clothing"

So after the last incident, I had a little talk with him.
Seems like he listened because he hooked up passes for me to go to the Nas concert!
Unfortunately, it's all ages. BUT, i really don't give a flying fluck. The tickets were free and both concerts are supposedly sold out. As long as none of those little hoodlums try to mess with me, it will be all good. I'll hold my corner and enjoy a FREE concert.

full details tomorrow.

rotating...Brandy: Afrodisiac
anticipating...ff aka future freebies

christmas shopping

i love shopping.
so for me christmas shopping is usually a breeze.
what gets in the way are the people in the malls/stores.

Last year I bought my brother this poster by an incredibly dope artist named Justin Bua. I'm rather proud to say that he loved it and i'm contemplating grabbing some more of dude's prints for myself. I think the bro will be just as impressed with this year's Christmas present (yes, it's wrapped and everything already).

The hard thing about Christmas shopping for me,
is NOT shopping for myself.

things i've learned.

. trust no one!
. because the walls apparently have ears.
. commuting in the winter is not going to be fun.
. i'm not ready for snow
. it's getting cold, but i'm not ready for freezing weather either.
. Brooklyn cats are crazy
. getting caught in the middle of a shoot out at Flatbush&Church at 6am is NOT fun.
. in the real world, a half hour lunch looks pretty similar to a 45 minute lunch
. when you work in claims & decline a claim, you will receive irate calls
. claims adjusters develop an immunity to crying
. Cry if you want, I will NOT change my decision
. trust only cold hard facts
. i need my tea every morning OR ELSE!
. i also need my bagel with cream cheese every morning
. ommission of any of the previous 2 items = a cranky Ms.Soul
. Canada really keeps getting colder
. i've become bored of the internet
. reading and shopping are two of the best things about my new job


reading..."The Heart Does Not Bend" by Makeda Silvera
Is it too early to anticipate summer?